We’ve all received texts that we didn’t quite know how to respond to, especially when they come out of the blue or are just plain awkward. A little humor can go a long way in defusing the situation while making your point clear.
Here are 30 funny responses to unwanted texts that can help you handle those messages with a smile.
1. “Oops! Wrong number. Did you mean to text your therapist?”
Explanation:
A humorous way to suggest the message wasn’t intended for you and maybe they need professional help.
Example:
Text: “Hey, I miss you so much.”
Response: Oops! Wrong number. Did you mean to text your therapist?
By saying “Wrong number,” you add a playful nudge that suggests they might be confused.
2. “If this is a prank, congratulations, you’ve succeeded. If not, who are you again?”
Explanation:
A funny way to address the message while questioning its authenticity.
Example:
Text: “Hey, we need to talk.”
Response: If this is a prank, congratulations, you’ve succeeded. If not, who are you again?
By saying “Who are you again,” you playfully admit you don’t remember them.
3. “I’m currently out of the office. Please try again later.”
Explanation:
A lighthearted response that pretends you’re professionally unavailable.
Example:
Text: “Want to grab dinner?”
Response: I’m currently out of the office. Please try again later.
By saying “Out of the office,” you give a funny nod to your unavailability.
4. “Sorry, I only respond to texts written in emojis.”
Explanation:
A playful way to deflect by requesting a different form of communication.
Example:
Text: “Can we talk about last night?”
Response: Sorry, I only respond to texts written in emojis.
By saying “Only respond to emojis,” you add humor by setting a quirky requirement.
5. “My phone is currently in airplane mode… indefinitely.”
Explanation:
A humorous excuse for being unavailable.
Example:
Text: “Hey, are you free today?”
Response: My phone is currently in airplane mode… indefinitely.
By saying “Airplane mode indefinitely,” you imply a long-term unavailability.
6. “This is a text message from the future. Sorry, you were deleted from my contacts.”
Explanation:
A funny, futuristic way to indicate that you’re not interested.
Example:
Text: “Can we meet up?”
Response: This is a text message from the future. Sorry, you were deleted from my contacts.
By saying “Deleted from my contacts,” you humorously imply they’re no longer relevant.
7. “I’m currently on a secret mission. Will get back to you when I’m done saving the world.”
Explanation:
A playful way to suggest you’re too busy for their message.
Example:
Text: “Let’s hang out sometime.”
Response: I’m currently on a secret mission. Will get back to you when I’m done saving the world.
By saying “Secret mission,” you add a touch of humor and mystery.
8. “Sorry, my phone just developed a case of selective hearing.”
Explanation:
A humorous way to imply that you’re ignoring the message.
Example:
Text: “Hey, want to catch up?”
Response: Sorry, my phone just developed a case of selective hearing.
By saying “Selective hearing,” you playfully admit to ignoring the text.
9. “I’m in a meeting with my cat right now. Priorities, you know?”
Explanation:
A funny way to prioritize something trivial over the message.
Example:
Text: “Can we talk about it?”
Response: I’m in a meeting with my cat right now. Priorities, you know?
By saying “Meeting with my cat,” you humorously exaggerate your current situation.
10. “Texting is currently on my list of things to avoid today.”
Explanation:
A funny excuse for not wanting to engage with the text.
Example:
Text: “I need to ask you something.”
Response: Texting is currently on my list of things to avoid today.
By saying “Avoid today,” you humorously explain your reluctance to respond.
11. “My phone has developed a sudden allergic reaction to your number.”
Explanation:
A playful way to indicate you’re not interested in responding.
Example:
Text: “Want to catch up?”
Response: My phone has developed a sudden allergic reaction to your number.
By saying “Allergic reaction,” you humorously imply that you’re avoiding the text.
12. “I’m currently lost in a world of Netflix. Please leave a message after the binge.”
Explanation:
A light-hearted way to indicate that you’re preoccupied with something else.
Example:
Text: “Can we talk later?”
Response: I’m currently lost in a world of Netflix. Please leave a message after the binge.
By saying “Lost in Netflix,” you playfully prioritize your leisure activity.
13. “I’m too busy plotting world domination right now. Talk to you later.”
Explanation:
A humorous way to explain that you’re occupied with something more exciting.
Example:
Text: “What’s up?”
Response: I’m too busy plotting world domination right now. Talk to you later.
By saying “Plotting world domination,” you exaggerate your current focus.
14. “I’m on a top-secret mission. Can’t discuss it in detail, but it involves snacks.”
Explanation:
A funny way to imply you’re too busy to respond while hinting at something trivial.
Example:
Text: “Want to grab coffee?”
Response: I’m on a top-secret mission. Can’t discuss it in detail, but it involves snacks.
By saying “Top-secret mission,” you humorously trivialize your current activity.
15. “Sorry, my phone was abducted by aliens. I’ll get back to you when it returns.”
Explanation:
A playful excuse for being unavailable.
Example:
Text: “Can we talk later?”
Response: Sorry, my phone was abducted by aliens. I’ll get back to you when it returns.
By saying “Abducted by aliens,” you humorously explain your unavailability.
16. “I’m currently auditioning for the role of ‘Most Unreachable Person’.”
Explanation:
A funny way to imply that you’re intentionally avoiding communication.
Example:
Text: “Hey, are you free?”
Response: I’m currently auditioning for the role of ‘Most Unreachable Person’.
By saying “Most Unreachable Person,” you humorously admit to avoiding the text.
17. “My phone just learned how to play hide and seek. It’s winning right now.”
Explanation:
A playful excuse to explain why you’re not responding.
Example:
Text: “Can we meet up?”
Response: My phone just learned how to play hide and seek. It’s winning right now.
By saying “Playing hide and seek,” you humorously suggest your phone is missing.
18. “I’m currently in a relationship with my bed. It’s quite serious.”
Explanation:
A funny way to explain that you’re too relaxed to respond.
Example:
Text: “Want to hang out later?”
Response: I’m currently in a relationship with my bed. It’s quite serious.
By saying “Relationship with my bed,” you humorously prioritize relaxation.
19. “I’m engaged in an intense battle with my inbox. It’s not going well.”
Explanation:
A humorous way to say you’re too busy with email to respond.
Example:
Text: “How’s it going?”
Response: I’m engaged in an intense battle with my inbox. It’s not going well.
By saying “Battle with my inbox,” you humorously describe your busy situation.
20. “I’m currently in training to become a professional napper. Progress is slow.”
Explanation:
A funny way to explain that you’re too tired to engage.
Example:
Text: “Can we chat later?”
Response: I’m currently in training to become a professional napper. Progress is slow.
By saying “Professional napper,” you humorously emphasize your need for rest.
21. “I’m busy negotiating with my couch for more relaxation time.”
Explanation:
A playful way to prioritize relaxation over responding.
Example:
Text: “Do you have time to talk?”
Response: I’m busy negotiating with my couch for more relaxation time.
By saying “Negotiating with my couch,” you humorously indicate your focus on comfort.
22. “I’m in a committed relationship with my phone’s Do Not Disturb mode.”
Explanation:
A funny way to explain why you’re not responding.
Example:
Text: “Can we catch up?”
Response: I’m in a committed relationship with my phone’s Do Not Disturb mode.
By saying “Do Not Disturb mode,” you humorously describe your unavailability.
23. “I’m currently mastering the art of ignoring texts. You’re a case study.”
Explanation:
A humorous way to admit you’re ignoring the message.
Example:
Text: “Are you free today?”
Response: I’m currently mastering the art of ignoring texts. You’re a case study.
By saying “Mastering the art,” you humorously acknowledge your avoidance.
24. “I’m having a serious conversation with my refrigerator. It’s about snacks.”
Explanation:
A funny way to imply you’re preoccupied with something trivial.
Example:
Text: “Want to meet up?”
Response: I’m having a serious conversation with my refrigerator. It’s about snacks.
By saying “Conversation with my refrigerator,” you playfully prioritize food.
25. “Sorry, my phone is currently in witness protection. It’s not safe to text.”
Explanation:
A playful excuse for being unavailable.
Example:
Text: “Can we talk later?”
Response: Sorry, my phone is currently in witness protection. It’s not safe to text.
By saying “Witness protection,” you humorously explain your phone’s unavailability.
26. “I’m currently on a self-imposed texting hiatus. I’ll return shortly.”
Explanation:
A funny way to explain that you’re taking a break from texting.
Example:
Text: “Can we chat later?”
Response: I’m currently on a self-imposed texting hiatus. I’ll return shortly.
By saying “Texting hiatus,” you humorously indicate your temporary unavailability.
27. “My phone is in a deep state of meditation right now. It needs to focus.”
Explanation:
A playful way to explain that you’re not responding.
Example:
Text: “Are you around?”
Response: My phone is in a deep state of meditation right now. It needs to focus.
By saying “Deep state of meditation,” you humorously describe your current focus.
28. “I’m currently enrolled in a text-free wellness program. It’s quite therapeutic.”
Explanation:
A funny excuse for not responding due to a self-imposed break.
Example:
Text: “Can we meet later?”
Response: I’m currently enrolled in a text-free wellness program. It’s quite therapeutic.
By saying “Text-free wellness program,” you humorously explain your break.
29. “I’m having a serious conversation with my pillow. It’s quite demanding.”
Explanation:
A humorous way to imply that you’re too relaxed to respond.
Example:
Text: “Can we talk soon?”
Response: I’m having a serious conversation with my pillow. It’s quite demanding.
By saying “Conversation with my pillow,” you playfully prioritize rest.
30. “Sorry, my phone is busy studying for its PhD in ignoring texts.”
Explanation:
A funny way to admit you’re intentionally ignoring the message.
Example:
Text: “Want to grab coffee?”
Response: Sorry, my phone is busy studying for its PhD in ignoring texts.
By saying “PhD in ignoring texts,” you humorously describe your focus on ignoring.
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